Day in and Day out, that name will always be in my head. Honestly, I am not sure why...this name has been in my head for more than a decade. Every time I think of that name I always have that small burst of finding her.
You see, I am/forever will be a Military Brat. One of the pros and cons of being a Military Brat is that you get to see new places and meet new people constantly. I guess I got a rude awakening when I moved away from my hometown, Washington D.C. for the first time. I moved to place in Virginia, new people, new environment and new friends. I started to become shy among people at this age and it would slowly, but surely, progress in my life.
Until, that one day.
I was standing near the busdriver who kept telling me what bus stop I lived nearby. I was startled, frightened, nervous, and speechless. The bus driver seemed hostile and had a short fuse. All of a sudden, a girl said "he lives nearby me, he is in the right bus." I turned around and there she was...with a smile and a few band-aids covering her scars, there she was.
I told her thank you and she decided to sit next to me. I was flattered and honoured to have someone to help me out, I told her my name and she told me hers...Cynthia Flint..
It was ironic that she was in all of my classes and she actually sat next to me in one of the classes. She became an immediate best friend of mine. I remember I kept telling her that I sucked at Mathematics and she decided to be my tutor, on the weekends she would come by my house and help me with the homework and during the weeknights I would go to her house and work on the problems.
Everything started out great, she was not only a great best friend but deep down I knew she had a crush on me and for the first time I had a crush on her as well. All the other kids in the neighbourhood knew that we looked like we liked each other (plus having a girlfriend/boyfriend at the age of 10? crazy right?) everyone knew that she wanted to help me out cos she liked me.
Then, it happened.
One day, I was going to her house to complete my homework. But what I saw was worse...moving vans.
She was moving away from the house to another base in god knows where. She had to say goodbye and she said that she will miss me and try to write letters to my house. I told her, I wouldn't forget about her cos she is the first crush I have ever known and she was pretty much the first everything for me. She was my first kiss.
Well that was over a decade ago...and with the amazing powers of the internetz, I have used many multiple social media websites to try and find her, I've used her name, her ethnicity, I tried many ways. But I still have no dice. Apart of me said that she might be married by now (I mean my age group now does that.) She might live in another part of this world (far away from the United States), or I honestly hope not this one, She might be gone for a long...(passed away)
All I know is that I have had no luck finding this girl for more than ten years...
I have no letters from her, I really suck at Mathematics (I am not even lying to you.), I have nothing to remember her by, I have nothing to actually physically remember her by. All I have is her name, engraved in my mind, forever encased.
Call Me crazy but I still try to find her, I still try to see if I can search for her again.
The reason why I wanted to talk about her in my seventh journal?
Well the number seven is my favourite number. To some, this number might actually be the number of perfection. I honestly agree. However, I see this number as a sign of independence. If you look at the list, 6 and 7 are pretty much in the middle of the number list 1 - 10. I think 7 is the median.
Now to actually answer my own question, I chose this entry is because I think searching for a lost soul is perfect. Cynthia Flint pretty much was the first stepping stone and also the first person to help me realize that life is completely different than toys and video games. She was more than a friend to me. And wherever she is, I wish one day I could find her and thank her for everything she has unintentionally done to me.
I guess you can say...She was my First Love.
Love...Ha!
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